I have written in the past about my struggles with fear. That I had fear as a little girl and it has stayed with me into my adulthood. That when we were robbed 2 years ago it grew the fear in me exponentially. (You can read more about my struggles with fear in this blog I wrote: https://dessbutler.com/2016/03/22/fear-vs-peace) Though I am on the road to victory over my fears it is still a long and treacherous road.
Two weeks ago I was wrestling with fear in a very paralyzing way. Close to us there were two guys in a car that a police officer tried to pullover. The gentlemen decided it would be best to try and get away from the cop than be pulled over. As the car chase proceeded one of the gentlemen started shooting at the cop car. More police got involved and followed them but the two men bailed out of the car and ran away on foot. Only one was found. Because it was so near to where I leave I became very frightened. The “What if’s” started to pound down on my heart bringing terror. What if they come this way, what if they know I am alone, what if I have to defend myself and little family. What if what if what if. Such a bad place to be,right.
That same week Joel had to be gone late one night for a class assignment. I became even more stressed out to the point I wanted to throw up. It was just all too over whelming for me. I didn’t go outside except to play ball with my dog on the porch. I didn’t go for walks any more behind my house. I let fear dictate me for days. Finally I had to remember that my thoughts were not on the Lord at all. My eyes were roaming every where by on Jesus. I had to start taking those fear driven thoughts captive so I could hear the Lord more clearly. When I did the results were mind blowing.
As I started to focus on Jesus more I could finally hear him and what He had for me. First He let me know He was with me. That I was not alone. That He had my back, front, side, and other side. That swept peace over me. As I began to calm down after days of sickening terror He started to give me instructions. “Now I want you to go outside and play IN YOUR YARD with Jazz (our dog) and your boy” Though I wasn’t 100% wanting to do this I knew that Jesus knew what was best for me. So I did. And you know what it felt like a chunk of fear fell off of me. So for a few days I would go in the yard and play. I felt God’s joy slowly crawl back into my heart.
Then one morning I felt the Lord impress on my heart that He wanted me to take a walk with my dog and boy around the 4-wheeler path behind our house. I didn’t want to but once again I recognized that 1) God would be with me and 2) He knew what was best for me. So out of sheer obedience I went. And what to my wonder . . . . I was walking and ran in to a gentlemen out in the woods. Guess who it was . . . yep the guy running from the cops. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
JUST KIDDING!!! That never happened even though I thought it might. Hahahahahaha. NO no Even more crazy I had this over flowing joy. I even felt like I had conquered something astronomical. Something like climbing Mount St. Helens or something. You would have thought I won a gold metal in the Olympics with how good I felt and acted. I had so much peace and joy that it was overflowing.
I realized once again that God knows what is best for us in EVERY SITUATION. That when we obey the Lord, even when we don’t want it, He will supply us with peace and joy overflowing.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
You have to know that God has an answer for everything you are facing. When He tells you it will not be easy. You may not even want to but if you trust Him and obey what He is prompting you to do you will not regret it!!! I am so glad I choose to listen to the voice of God and go out side my house. Because I did I had victory over my fear. That is one more battle won in this war on fear. I feel like a VICTOR!
What is God telling you to do?