It is hard to be misunderstood, it is even harder when that conflict is spiraled out of control and there are hurt feelings involved. There is no way to face life without conflict, misunderstandings, and offenses. Jesus even said, “It is impossible that no offenses should come.” – Luke 17:1a
But what do we do when misunderstandings come and there is a wedge between you and the other person. Well we were made to have fight or flight as a way to protect ourselves but in these cases you need to fight for your relationship and not run away. You need to stop seeing that person as the enemy.
I remember having a huge misunderstanding with a co-worker, mentor, and friend. I felt thoroughly misunderstood. I was deeply wounded by their words that they spoke over me. From our conflict I grew bitter. Yet God didn’t want me to just leave our relationship as it was. Even though I felt like I was the one wronged the Lord kept nudging me to go apologize for my behavior of bitterness towards my friend. I didn’t want to, and even fought God about it.
Finally one morning in my quiet time with the Lord He showed me where I was at spiritually because I wouldn’t reconcile with my mentor. God took me on a journey of scriptures to reveal where I was at, where God was at, and what I should do:
23“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. – Matthew 5:23-24
God showed me that even if I was the one that had something against my brother or sister I was to go and make things right. God showed me that we no longer bring God an animal of offering as worship to Him but our sacrifice was praise and thanksgiving.
Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise–the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. – Hebrews 13:15
Then God took me to Malachi 1:7-8
“But you ask, ‘How have we shown contempt for your name?’ 7“By offering defiled food on my altar. “But you ask, ‘How have we defiled you?’ “By saying that the Lord’s table is contemptible. 8When you offer blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice lame or diseased animals, is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?” says the Lord Almighty.
God showed me that when I have relationships that are broken because of offenses and misunderstandings and I refuse to fix them I am bringing before God defiled offering and crippled, diseased, broken praise that is unacceptable in His sight.
There are two great commandments of the bible that sum up the whole law: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself.
God is serious about both commandments and when we refuse to have right relationships with our neighbor He puts a hold on our relationship with Him.
That morning when God showed me all of this He said that He would no longer accept my praise or time with Him until I went and fixed my relationship with my co-worker, mentor, and friend. I started to open my mouth to praise God for showing me such revelation but shut it knowing it would not be accepted, so I left my “offering at the altar” and went to my friend immediately and asked her to forgive me, and I meant it. Our relationship mended and the world felt right again.
You need to ask God if there are any relationships in your life you need to fix. God loves us so much and H
e wants us to get along with those in our lives. If you have tried and tried to be reconciled but the person refuses to forgive/make mends/reconcile then do not think this message is for you. This message is for those who know that they need to make the first or second attempt to make amends with those who there is a misunderstanding with.
God had been trying for a while to get me to go reconcile with my friend but I refused, He finally had to draw the line and let me know that it would now affect His and my relationship. God gives us a grace period to do what is right but the grace period can run out and for me it did. Ask God to give you the strength to go and make things right. “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” He will give you the grace and strength you need to make things right. Even if you felt you were wronged. It doesn’t matter. Your relationship matters.
God thank you that you love us and our relationships with others so much you are willing to put our relationship on hold with you. Thank you that you give us the strength and grace to go humbly to those that we need to reconcile with. God help the readers today to approach those you have put on their hearts to make things right. It is not easy but it is so worth it. We love you God. Thank you for holding our hands every step of the way. There is no one like you Jesus! In Jesus name I pray, amen
If you want to hear more about this story you can purchase my book One Yes to get the full story. Click the image of One Yes to buy the paperback version or download the free kindle app and purchase the ebook version.